Awkward Elevator

Peeve: The phrase “rub off on”. As in, “I can tell by her cynicism that Frank is starting to rub off on her.”

Why? Because it sounds nasty.

Don’t Jump

By far the most awkward thing you can do in an elevator is to jump, especially with a friend.  There’s a story behind this.  This past Sunday, I was riding in the Piano Row elevator at Emerson accompanied by Bryan and Kate, my fellow survivors.  On the ninth floor, we awkwardly fought with elevator number one, trying it to go down when it was set on going up. After finally pressing the call button on the outside and the floor button inside in the right sequential pattern, we selected floor one and began our descent. Bryan and I were talking about this very blog post, and how elevators really are pretty awkward when subject came up of jumping in elevators.  If you haven’t tried it, it’s really fun.  When you’re going down and you jump in the air, by the time you come back down the floor has dropped further than when you jumped, so you can get some air.  It feels neat, and is only something I’ve ever done when completely alone in an elevator.

Bryan and I accidentally jumped at the same time, which was a big mistake.  Apparently new elevator systems work like theatrical fly systems, and when 300+ pounds of college student is lifted off the carriage and into the air, the system notices and faults, hanging in limbo until someone manually clears the fault.  So basically, we were stuck, and had to use the intercom to call public safety so they could send someone over from a block away.  Luckily nobody was panicking, actually we had been bored and looking for something to go.  Careful what you wish for.

We tried forcing the door open, but when it didn’t work the service guy said they were going to the roof to get us out.  We hoped this meant climbing though an elevator shaft to the roof, which would have made the whole experience so worth it.  After a very awkward moment where the elevator dropped several feet, then a few more without powering back up, the numbers re-illuminated and we moved to the sixth floor where the doors opened allowing us to escape. We lucked out in the sense that this happened in a brand new high tech elevator in Piano Row.  If we had made this mistake in the Little Building or any older system, the consequences could have been much worse.  My point is that it’s really fun to jump in elevators and if you like taking risks you should try it, but it can be really awkward if you jumped and broke an elevator with anybody other than you’re friends.

Conversation?

What about conversation inside? If it’s just you and a random person, do you say hello and make small talk or awkwardly play with your phone and ignore them until one of you gets off? If you’re getting into an elevator with a friend or group and there’s already a topic of conversation, there’s no need to stop talking.  There’s nothing wrong with talking, but be aware that people will listen, no mater how distracted or uninterested they are. If you are rude, tell dirty jokes and smell bad, people will judge you.  If you tell a joke that’s actually funny and clever, not just a stupid inside joke, other passengers will be faced with the awkward situation of weather or not to laugh.  Nobody wants to be seen as snooping on others in the elevator, it’s not polite.  But sometimes things are incredibly funny and you just can’t help but laugh.  Sometimes it’s fine, and polite; it just depends a lot on the atmosphere you’re in.

What you talk about has a lot to do with what setting the elevator is in.  It wouldn’t be appropriate to talk about who was passed out with who the previous night in the elevator of a corporate office building, but in a college dorm it happens casually.  In a sketchy Vegas hotel slash casino elevator, you might not want to associate or even acknowledge the drunk next to you, but not talking to your neighbor in an apartment building elevator might be taken as rude.  All easy decisions, but it’s funny now failure to act appropriately can lead to intense awkward situations.

Decisive Moment

One of the most universally awkward moments associated with elevators happens when the doors are slowly closing.  You know when you’re about to get onto an elevator but the door starts closing?  You make eye contact with the person(s) inside and chances are they just want to let it close and move on.  Do you run for it? Stand awkwardly and stare at someone inside as the door slowly closing? If you run for it and hold the door open, you risk pissing off the late people that will be standing next to during the whole awkward ride; probably a good idea to play it safe and catch the next one.  Exception: buildings where elevators are really slow and hard to grab, if you need to loose someone.